Two Weeks? How ‘Dad Shift’ is Pushing for Real Parity in Parenting and the Workplace
An activist group called ‘Dad Shift’ has tied models of babies to prominent statues of men across London in their bid to ask the government to increase paternity leave in the UK. Can you believe that we have the worst paternity leave in Europe? We offer two weeks!
For someone who works to improve equity in the workplace, two weeks of paternity leave is simply laughable. This is still steeped in the belief that childcare is primarily a woman’s role. This is why gender parity in the workplace is still a pipe dream. We can put all sorts of clever initiatives to support women in the workplace until we are blue in the face, but until we understand that men have to be equally engaged in the business of child rearing, women will always be held back.
Anyone who has ever had a baby knows that the first six weeks are crucial. Even if the child has been adopted, you still need time to get used to the baby and find your bearings. Unless you are a single parent where you don’t have a choice (and my hat does really go off you), this is a two person job.
A new child literally turns your life upside as a woman, especially if it is your first. Your body feels like it has been hit by a freight train, your hormones are raging, your breasts are still deciding whether they are going to let the milk come in or not, and you have a bundle of ‘joy’ that you are not quite sure you are the best person to manage, due to lack of sleep.
And yet, this is the time that you need all your wits about you, so the involvement of a partner is absolutely invaluable at this time if you are to recover quickly, and be able to provide the best care for the child. Two weeks of such an involvement is simply pathetic. Also, if you are expected back in the workplace any time soon, the more your partner is involved, the quicker you can find your bearings.
When a new child comes into your life, it should be all available hands to the pump but instead, the men are let off the hook with very minimal societal expectation of full engagement. They are expected to be just periphery and the woman is supposed to figure everything out with the good men in a supporting role. That is why the government deems it fit to only give two weeks of paternity leave.
When a woman is supported by her partner postpartum, it is better for the child, the woman and the partner. This a win-win-win. ‘Dad Shift’ have realised how important it is to be engaged right off the bat with your child. I am really encouraged by this because due to a common bias known as the affinity bias, we tend to like people just like ourselves. So if men who tend to be the power brokers in the workplace are asking for more paternity leave, hopefully this time, their kind in positions of power like the government will listen.
Gone are the days that people could survive on one income. For a lot of people, with increasing property prices and cost of living crisis, one income simply doesn’t not cut it anymore. So both parents have to work and yet the workplace is still stuck in the hunter gatherer era where women are expected to stay at home and mind the home. So when they turn up in the workplace, it is like, ‘glad you decided to join the hunters, but don’t forget to mind the home as well’.
This attitude wears the women out. It is not a level playing field. They are still seen as dabbling in the workplace and their main domain is in the home. So lip service is paid to them in the workplace but male colleagues respond to a completely different set of expectations. ‘So your partner gave birth? Congratulations, where is the cigar? See you in two weeks.’ Let’s change the narrative. Let’s bring gender parity to the business of child-rearing. It is the only way we can get parity in the workplace.
