Gen Z Men: How Did We End Up Going Backwards?

Just when many of us thought the arc of history was bending steadily towards equality, along comes a statistic that makes you blink twice and check the date to make sure you haven’t accidentally time-travelled back to 1952.

A recent International Women’s Day survey by the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership and Ipsos asked 23,000 people around the world about gender attitudes.

The results about Gen Z men are, frankly, astonishing.

31% of Gen Z men agree that a wife should always obey her husband and 33% say the husband should have the final word on important decisions in the household.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Because here is the bit that really twists the knife. Among men over 60, the numbers were 13% and 17%.

Yes. You read that correctly.

The generation that grew up before the internet, before modern feminism entered mainstream conversation, before diversity training became a corporate staple… is apparently less likely to believe wives should obey their husbands than young men in their twenties.

WTAF, indeed.

It raises a rather uncomfortable question.

How did we spend decades talking about equality, fairness and partnership, only to discover that some young men seem to be wandering back towards a very dusty version of marriage that our grandmothers were trying to escape?

Now before anyone starts sharpening pitchforks, the situation is slightly more complicated than simply declaring Gen Z men villains in a Victorian melodrama.

Because in the same survey, Gen Z men were also the group most likely to say that women with successful careers are more attractive.

41% agreed with that statement.

Among over 60s of both genders, it was only 27%.

So on the one hand, young men say they find ambitious, successful women appealing.

On the other hand, a sizeable chunk also think those women should obey them.

It is a bit like saying you love Ferraris but would prefer if they drove at 20 miles an hour.

There is a clear contradiction happening here.

Part of the explanation may lie in the digital ecosystems Gen Z grew up in. Previous generations argued about gender roles at the dinner table or in newspaper columns. Today, young men can fall down algorithmic rabbit holes that feed them endless content about “traditional masculinity”, dominance and rigid gender hierarchies.

Add economic anxiety into the mix. Housing is expensive. Job markets feel unstable. Social expectations are shifting fast.

For some young men, the promise of a simple, structured hierarchy can feel reassuring. If the world feels chaotic, the fantasy of being “in charge” starts to look appealing.

The problem, of course, is that reality has moved on.

Women are more educated than ever. They are starting businesses, leading teams, running countries, launching rockets and generally getting on with life.

And crucially, most women are not terribly interested in obeying anyone.

The irony is that equality was never supposed to be a loss for men.

The whole point was partnership.

Two incomes instead of one. Two brains making decisions instead of one. Two people building a life together rather than one carrying the entire load.

It is not a zero-sum game. Equality was always meant to expand the pie, not snatch slices away.

Which is why these survey results matter.

Because they tell us something important about the work still left to do. Conversations about equality cannot simply assume progress is inevitable. Each generation has to understand why fairness benefits everyone.

And perhaps we also need to model something better.

Young men who see confident women leading, speaking, building careers and forming equal partnerships are far more likely to understand that strength and equality are not opposites.

They are teammates.

So if the idea of wives “obeying” husbands is making a comeback in certain corners of the internet, then the rest of us may need to get a bit louder about what modern partnership actually looks like.

Mutual respect.

Shared decision making.

And the radical concept that adulthood is not a monarchy.

No kings required.

I am still reeling from this stat as I have brought up to Gen Z men. I need to go have a serious conversation!

P.S Are you a woman in leadership juggling too much? Let’s fix that. Book a quick chat with me here.