Don’t Park Yourself in the Long-Term Car Park When You Have Kids
The other day, I was chatting with someone and she said something that really stopped me in my tracks. She said, “The biggest secret no one tells you when you have kids is that you have to say goodbye to yourself, park yourself in a long-term car park, and only come back for yourself once the kids have grown up.”
Honestly, my heart sank a little.
Because here’s the thing — I get it. Having children changes everything. Your time isn’t your own anymore, your priorities shift, and suddenly, you’re spinning a million plates while trying to remember the last time you had a hot cup of tea. But this idea that you have to completely park yourself — your dreams, your ambitions, your wellbeing — until the kids are off to university? It’s dangerous. And it’s a lie we need to stop telling each other.
When you “park” yourself, you’re not just pressing pause. You’re risking your career growth, your mental and emotional wellbeing, and your sense of identity. And let’s be honest — the years between nappies and graduation are long. That’s a long time to put yourself on hold.
Your Career Needs You To Stay In The Game
One of the biggest dangers of parking yourself is that your career doesn’t just wait for you to come back whenever you’re ready. The working world moves fast. Skills evolve, industries change, networks shift. If you completely step out, getting back in can feel like climbing a mountain in flip-flops.
It doesn’t have to mean working 60-hour weeks or chasing promotions at all costs. But it does mean keeping a hand in — whether that’s part-time work, freelancing, upskilling, or staying active in your professional networks. Not only does it keep your options open, it keeps your confidence intact. And let’s not underestimate how much kids benefit from seeing their mum living her dreams too.
Your Wellbeing Matters Right Now
Parking yourself isn’t just about work. It’s about your whole self — your passions, your friendships, your health, your joy. If you constantly put yourself last, the danger is that you forget how to access your own needs. You forget what lights you up. And that loss doesn’t just impact you — it impacts your kids too.
Children don’t need a perfect mum who sacrifices everything. They need a fulfilled, happy, emotionally available mum. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Making time for yourself, even in small ways, teaches your children that women’s needs matter too.
Small Steps Keep You Moving
I’m not saying you need to hustle harder or add even more to your plate. Goodness knows motherhood is already a full-time job. But maybe it’s about doing something that’s just for you. Signing up for a short course. Going to that networking event. Setting boundaries at work so you can protect your energy. Finding ten minutes a day to move your body or journal or simply breathe.
These small actions remind you that you matter now — not just in 18 years’ time.
You Don’t Need To Choose Between Them And You
We need to break this narrative that it’s either/or — either you’re a devoted parent, or you’re living your life fully. It’s both/and. It’s messy, imperfect, sometimes chaotic — but it’s possible. You’re allowed to build a beautiful life that includes your career, your passions, and your children.
So no, don’t park yourself in a long-term car park. Find ways to keep driving, even if it’s slow and steady for a while. Your future self will thank you. And your kids? They’ll be proud to have grown up watching a mum who didn’t lose herself — she grew alongside them.
