Autumn Cleanse

I decided to do my Autumn cleanse last week. It was the only window I could find before things got manic. I checked my diary and checked my diary again and that was my free weekend to take things easy, so I was just going to chill out, and just juice until the cows came home. Except as usual, as they say, life is what happens after you have made plans!

Believe it or not, after all the planning and checking my diary, I still picked the wrong weekend. I was supposed to start the cleanse on Friday. Of course, that was the day a friend wanted to meet for coffee. I take my friends seriously so of course I was going to go for the coffee. If you don’t know why I take my friends seriously, in my book ‘Octopus on Treadmill: Women, Success, Health, Happiness’, I have got the statistics to show how personal relationships is number two on the list of the factors that affect our life satisfaction. So, walking the talk and valuing my personal relationships, off I went to Starbucks with my friend, where you see all manner of cake when you are trying to avoid food! However, I was good and only had herbal tea, fruit and nuts and a long chat. So far so good.

Later that afternoon, another friend who I had been trying to get hold of for months suddenly rang me and said she was at the bottom of my road on her way back from her hairdressers and could she pop in. This friend is a fount of ideas when it comes to everything relating to building works and the builders are back again so, of course I had to see her. In she pops and several cups of tea (herbal for me of course) morphed into homemade vegetable soup plus uncut bread for her but not me as I am still desperately trying to hang onto my cleanse.

The next day was when things were supposed to get serious. No cheating with vegetable soups, it was just juice cleanse for 3 days straight. Luckily for me this time, I decided to stop being tight and not make the juices myself and just order them in. Talking about being tight, I don’t have a juicer, I only have a blender so during a cleanse, I blend whatever organic fruit, vegetable, herb and spice concoction I am going to have, and strain it though a pillow case. Yes, you read it right, pillow case. It is a messy job and takes a lot of planning so this time I just decided to stop being tight and boost the local economy and just order it in. Luckily someone was handing out leaflets at my yoga studio about these organic pre-prepared juices for a juice cleanse, and that was me sold. No more straining through pillow cases and thinking what concoction I was going to have next. Someone else can deal with all that stress and all I have to do is to drink the damn things and stay away from food. How hard could it be?

There was only a small fly in the ointment. At 6.00pm on Friday evening, my juices had still not arrived. I was desperately trying to fight off mild panic. The thought of suddenly having to deal with the pillow case again was not doing wonders for my willpower. Luckily a kindly looking gentleman appeared at about 6.30pm, he had been trying to find our house and got lost as the numbers are not sequential and some of the houses only have names and no numbers. Why he insisted on giving that explanation to someone who hadn’t eaten all day save for vegetable soup in the evening, beats me. Anyway, he found us, so panic was averted as I stared at fifteen 330ml bottles of different coloured juices that were going to be my breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 3 days.

My one and only tip for a juice cleanse is stay away from food or else your mind will take over and before you know it, you will be craving all manner of things that you don’t even like. This being said, I am not sure how I found myself on Saturday evening, in spite of all my planning, attending a charity event in China town with my senses assailed with all things tasty and delicious. That was pure torture. I did bring my 330ml bottle of raw cocoa, fruit and vegetable blend. I have never felt so sorry for myself as others were chomping on all sorts of lovelies and I was staring forlornly at my blend. Suffice to say I made my excuses as soon as I could without being rude and left.

Thankfully, that was as torturous as it got as the next day I was simply too busy to even notice I was on a juice cleanse. I went clothes shopping and tried on a dress which fit like a glove but even I knew that that was not the best time to buy something with a snug fit as I don’t intend to subsist on juices for the rest of my life!

For some reason, for someone who has had nothing but juice for 3 days, I am strangely full of energy and feeling oddly optimistic. I even took the dogs for a long walk yesterday would you believe.

I put all this down to not having to fight with a blender and a pillow case.

Enjoy your week.